Do I may want to have kids one day?

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Looks like what happens with women body is public opinion, not having kids as a choice of living have been coming to terms, since some decades ago and some people are embracing it and some other are outraged, because according to science, society and nature the body is created for reproduction.

 Is a right assumption I think for any perspective, but we have evolved to the point of not having control of birth to the point to chose when, with who, how many, single or married? so now the big question it is, Do I may want to have kids one day?

 I like kids don´t get my wrong but I don´t die over them, I spend time with my nephews, what so ever I get tired of them and put my distance, my mind goes wild with the anxiety to deal with tantrums, thinking to waking up early to feed someone get out my nerves and to even think to left something aside to cover the needs of someone like a kid drives me insane, mostly scared but insane also.

 My mind doesn´t comprehend when I flip so bad to the idea of not wanting to have children’s, when I was younger I used to dream with 6 kids, crazy right? I haven´t make a definitive decision over this theme but it has been wondering around several years now.

 But been honest, my election comes more out of fear I think, the idea of someone ripping apart my lady parts freak to fuck out of me, labor is something I don´t want to deal with, I am afraid also of been a bad mother, I don´t have a close relationship with mine, we kind have worked that out, but still is a relationship pretty messed up, why if I end having something like that with my children’s?

  I´m single now but hey! marriage now is underrated, why if I ended up been a single mother out of a divorce, not a bad thing for sure, but can´t image doing it that way…

 Also, I enjoy spending my money in myself; I don´t have the greatest life for sure but if I end in trouble or in paradise is just me and nobody else, want to do more things and enjoy more, of what? I don´t know, still want to figure it out...


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